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When I'm dead, I'll rest.

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I"M BACK YO [30 Mar 2012|01:13am]
Wooooooow been so long. Too darn long. Anyways I am kinda drunk right now, not really though cause look at my awesome grammar. Anways I feel like I need a place to vent. Just to say things, toprevent me from saying things out loud, maybe offend people, WHATEV.

Anyways 1. I want kind of thouht of this awesome quote-ish thing that sounded good when I thought of it like 3 hours ago, may not sound as cool 4 beers later, but lettuce see!

I find myself fighting for something that I do not want, but I do not want others to have.

SICK WHOA. Ugh I don't want to go into details cause this shit is piblic, but yeah. I find myself being waaaayyyy too protective over people. In the most inside way possible, like the outside world would never know. Unless they caught on, obv. I just want the best for people. So yeah. Live.

Anywho was at the bar tonight. My mom always says she saw my dad and ~*~*~*~knew they were in looooove~*~*~ wtf that feels like, idk. But this kid is beautful. Please talk to me wahhhhh. Did we make eye contact? I don't even know. I wish people could help a sister out ya know, but be like cooool about it, now highschooly. Ugh we'll see.

Anyways currently I'm trying to lose some mad weight. For my happiness. And maybe dudes will actually be into me idk? I am hopeing as I get older people will assess me for who I am, not how I look. But at the same time I work hard as shit to look the way I do. How I look I couldn't even tell you, but I got a lot of products and I do a lot of shit just to look like this. And no i did not just snap my fingers up and down. I'm just me and this is how I look and I did what I wanted to look likethis CAN SOMEONE JUST APPRECIATE IT ALREADYYYY>!?!?!

So diet life - not that bad. Drinking kinda worries me because I feel like it's what put me here at my really fat stage. It just kiils me because in highscool, essentially 50 pounds lighter, I thought I was fat. Look at me now though, fat as fuck. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. So let's hope this works out idk fingers crossed!!

I've been exercsiing everyday... since Monday. WHATEV it's better than nothing. I am attemtpting to stay below 1500 calories. Which is kind of hard. It's more of a: eat carrots all day then gorge on raviolis later than a steady thoughrout the day thing. Whatever. Should the calories I eat in 1 day be good enough? Ugh let's see. I'm hoping not to look like a double chin shit head by graduation, which is in 4 weeks. OOOPPPPS.

Anyways with this new diet thing I have to pee alot. Sometimes I just hope that I have somesort of disease that I should get checked out soon and they'll be like here's some pills and I'll magically lose 20 pounds.

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[03 Aug 2008|12:50am]
i love nyquil
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Pens/Flyers 1-0. [10 May 2008|02:00am]
I got an A- in Calc 1, hell mother fucking yeah. Holy fucking shit I am so proud. D in Physics 1, WORSE than the D+ I got last semester, what the mother fuck? I have a 2.2 GPA, going for a 4.0 summer, wish me luck. Calc 2 starts Monday, do that for six weeks, then Physics 2 starts for six weeks. Buckets of fun right? I'm hoping to find some friends with beer, fridges and kegs of it.

I like boys that cry. Not all the time, but enough. It makes me feel good that I have guy friends close enough that they feel comfortable crying in front of me. I wish I felt that comfortable around people. I love people. I love that they feel like they can come to me for anything and everything, but why can't I feel that way towards others?

I smoked tonight with an old friend out of a strawberry blunt. Good times, wish I had someone who's not so busy thinking about hamburger jokes to drive out here and kiss me and taste that fake, sweet strawberry layer on my lips. Maybe once fall semester starts we'll get somewhere? Get in love.

I really just want to fall in love. Or just have someone to hold hands with. I want to be in love with the boy that I held hands with.

I love the sound of rain outside my open window.
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[25 Apr 2008|01:00pm]
i love my friends, i love my life, i love my family.

i hate chemistry with all the hate i can dig out of my soul.
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[20 Apr 2008|11:48am]
I went to Passover yesterday and I saw my parents and my sister and my grandparents and I realized how much a part of me these people are. They are my everything. Coming back to Pitt, I just feel shitty and depressed. I'll be home in a week, but it's going to be one hell of a week. I don't want to study, I just want to sit here and look at pictures and cry. How lame right? I haven't seen my family in over a month and seeing them yesterday for like two hours just put a huge hole in my heart. One week, that's all I have to wait.
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Fines. [14 Apr 2008|07:07pm]
What the hell are these pieces of shit? Seriously, I've never really thought about it until I'm actually going to have to pay for one. Just because I have to pay money for drinking in a dorm doesn't mean I won't do it again!!!!! And in general, getting fined for speeding doesn't mean I won't speed again. WHERE THE HELL WOULD THE GOVERNMENT/SCHOOL/WHAT HAVE YOU GET MONEY IF IT WASN'T FOR PEOPLE FUCKING UP AND GETTING FINED????

I have no idea. Fines are the ass hair on a toad.
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[08 Apr 2008|12:51am]
iahtepeople i hate people i hate people i hate pepole i hate people i hate people i hate people i hate people okmg omgomgomgomgomg why can't i be left alone.
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Hahdcore. [07 Apr 2008|12:37am]
We held hands and it was really, really, really emotional. And I don't think there are any feelings between us, it's the fact that we went to get pizza and held hands on the way there!!!

Oh and Ottawa. Ottawa? Really Pittsburgh, you played like shit and you deserve this. Not that we can't annihilate Ottawa, but uhhhh you were sixty fucking minutes from conference champs and ya blew it, BLEW IT. Whatev, I love you guys.
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I say oh well a lot. [01 Apr 2008|02:53pm]
So it's official, coffee makes me sick. It travels through my intestines and rips me apart. Gross right? Totally. But don't even get me started on the pain I feel from not being able to have coffee. It's not the caffeine, it's the way it fills me up when I am starving. And the way it warms me up during those chilly Pittsburgh days. JKASHDFKJSFL:KJSD I am so sad :[. Oh well. It'll save me money righttt? No now I'll get hooked on potato chips and cool shit like that. Oh well. I love food. Bellies for everyone!!!!!!!!!!

Sooooo the Pittsburgh Penguins have secured a spot in the finals. HELLO DOMINATION OVERLOAD. Wooty wooty woot woot woot. Man damn chicken flan I love this team. I love this sport. I love this town. Da 'Burgh forever, until it burns to the ground with my ankles chained to a lamp post. Whoa anyways. Wouldn't it be funny if we played Philadelph in the playoffs? Hahahahahahahahahahah fuckers are going to lose so bad. I really hope Washington at least MAKES IT to the playoffs. Boston? Who gives a hooty tooty turtle? No one. ACTUALLY get the Flyers out of there, once a bottom feeder, always a bottom feeder. Ha I am such a hypocrite because wasn't it just two years ago then Pens were sturggling to get a goal? Yah. Ok I shall shut up. Every team in the NHL deserves a fighting chance in the playoffs. It's just nice knowing my team isn't going anywhere anytime soon :D.
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[28 Mar 2008|03:38am]
Ok check it. I'm a terrible LJ friend, I can admit this. I probably won't comment ever because I'm rarely on here for that purpose. I'm still going to update with the nonsense that I have deemed relevant to be written. Feel free to unfriend me, I won't take offense. But as one last salutation, or even our first (and last) meeting, I shall take your hands in mine and we will dance. Dance to tomorrow because who knows what it may bring.
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I watch my yellow cat invade my red cat in the yard. [21 Feb 2008|09:31pm]
Refugee of an old site, I'm just here for the communities.
We could be friends if you want, though :].

I think I may use this actually. Not a daily updater, not one to update with every single detail of my life. Future engineer, bothered, looking for someone who can make me laugh until I cry, Malkin's #1 fan. Just add me, it'll be fun ;D.
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